On The Road

Pulled over at a truck stop to give you this update. Baby's doing fine. Strapped face up in the back of the pick up. I feed the baby milk. Why not give him a whole cow, says Jimmy. Jimmy, I says, he can't handle solid foods yet. But the baby's so big we can't feed him milk, we run out of milk. Megan sits in the front, fawning over her beautiful baby boy. How fat you are, she says. Give him a cow, she says. But Megan! I says. She says: Theo, give him a cow or I'll shit the living beat out of you. So I buy a cow. It's easy, all I have to do is give him my three magic beans. We take the cow and shove it in the baby's mouth. It goes down like puddin.

Still can't think of the right name for the baby. Megan wants to call him MeatBall.

5 days till the wedding. Will we make it in time to stop Phil from marrying the bimbo and save the family fortune? Stay tuned.