Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Little is known about the fifth Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, Picasso.

Michelangelo: Totally rad, bros – this toxic waste has made us into, like, super-turtles!!

Leonardo: Yeah, I’m stronger than ever and I can easily wield this Japanese sword I just found. How about you, Picasso? What’s your special new power?

Picasso: Bros, I don’t feel so great after all that toxic waste. I’m nauseous, and all my hair is falling out.

Donatello: In Japanese, “hair falling out” is “hea-shikkyaku-auto”. My awesome new power is knowing Japanese.

Leonardo: Doitashi mashitay. Ha ji may ma shitay! (All but Picasso laugh)

Donatello: Good one. Japanese is easy.

Raphael: And I feel super light and agile. Cowabunga!

Picasso: I also feel totally light, bro. But I think it’s totally less due to a new power and more due to, like, a lack of red blood cells, white blood cells, and hair.

Raphael: How about weapons, dudes? I just have this feeling that I am going to kick tail with Ninja daggers.

Picasso: Does having too many chromosomes count as a weapon? I have five too many chromosomes.

Michelangelo: The bo staff counts. I am good at the bo staff.

Leonardo: Picasso, why are you crying, bro?

Picasso: I’m just getting used to the surges of estrogen from the ovaries I spontaneously grew five minutes ago, which instantly became sterile.

Donatello: And it’s totally cool that we all have our own colors now!

Raphael: Yeah. Like, Leonardo is blue, Donatello is purple, Picasso is albino and bleeding uncontrollably, and Michelangelo is orange.

Michelangelo: Now, who’s ready for some pizza??!

Picasso: I’m allergic to gluten now.