how to audition for a college theater B.F.A. program

Step One: Eat your own brain!

Step Two: Where is my brain?

Step Three: I cannot find my brain!

Step Four: I cannot find solace in anything but my brain. I am sad.

Step Five: Eat your own brain!

Step Six: Oh no not that again!

Step Seven: I forgot, because where is my brain!

Step Eight: Audition for College Theater B.F.A. Program.

Step Nine: Oh there's my brain.

Step Ten: Is it too late to Audition for a College Theater Program?

Step Eleven: Yes, you've already auditioned for a college theater program.

Step Twelve: Ah, horse shit.

Step Thirteen: Don't you love life?

Step Fourteen: I love life.

Step Fifteen: Don't you have a brain?

Step Sixteen: Ah, horse shit.

Step Seventeen: I am a machine. A living, breathing machine.

Step Eighteen: I AM A RIGID AUTOMATON. WHERE IS MY MASTER?

Step Nineteen: The Master is your Brain.

Step Twenty: I have now accomplished step number 20.

Step Twenty One: I have an automobile which I drive, using my brain AND FOOT.

Step Twenty Two: Do you doubt it?

Step Twenty Three: Do you even doubt it?

Step Twenty Four: Audition for a College B.F.A. Program

Step Twenty Five: Connect to the internet!

Step Twenty Six: Oh gosh, MOTHERGODD!

Step Twenty Seven: What's up JOSH!

Step Twenty Eight: Death.

Step Twenty Nine: One hundred.

Step Twenty Thirty: Eat your brain.