GREAT CHICAGO FIRE
The Great Chicago Fire was almost inevitable.
Chicagoan 1: What a beautiful city we live in. One made entirely out of wood.
Chicagoan 2: And not just any old wood – kindling!
Chicagoan 1: People call Chicago “The Windy City”, but they should call it “The Windy City That’s Completely Made Out of Wood”, since all of our buildings are made out of wood.
Chicagoan 2: I don’t know about you, but my favorite building is the Chicago Art Museum.
Chicagoan 1: Me too! I love how the Art Museum’s door is made out of matches, and the door hinges are made out of that black gritty stuff that you use to light matches against!
Chicagoan 2: I prefer to view the artwork by the beautiful light of a large, open, uncontrolled flame. The colors look the brightest yet most combustible that way.
Chicagoan 1: Here’s a fun fact for you: did you know that Chicago is the third largest metropolitan area in the US, and the first largest metropolitan area in the US made entirely out of very flammable wood?
Chicagoan 2: I didn’t know that. Maybe I should read up on Chicago history at the library.
Chicagoan 1: Oh, you mean the Chicago City Library, which is situated right next to the Chicago City Acetylene Torch Factory?
Chicagoan 2: Yes. Boy, do I love this city.
Chicagoan 1: Nothing bad will ever happen to Chicago. Chicago is like the Titanic, in the sense that neither of them will ever catch on fire.
Chicagoan 1: What a beautiful city we live in. One made entirely out of wood.
Chicagoan 2: And not just any old wood – kindling!
Chicagoan 1: People call Chicago “The Windy City”, but they should call it “The Windy City That’s Completely Made Out of Wood”, since all of our buildings are made out of wood.
Chicagoan 2: I don’t know about you, but my favorite building is the Chicago Art Museum.
Chicagoan 1: Me too! I love how the Art Museum’s door is made out of matches, and the door hinges are made out of that black gritty stuff that you use to light matches against!
Chicagoan 2: I prefer to view the artwork by the beautiful light of a large, open, uncontrolled flame. The colors look the brightest yet most combustible that way.
Chicagoan 1: Here’s a fun fact for you: did you know that Chicago is the third largest metropolitan area in the US, and the first largest metropolitan area in the US made entirely out of very flammable wood?
Chicagoan 2: I didn’t know that. Maybe I should read up on Chicago history at the library.
Chicagoan 1: Oh, you mean the Chicago City Library, which is situated right next to the Chicago City Acetylene Torch Factory?
Chicagoan 2: Yes. Boy, do I love this city.
Chicagoan 1: Nothing bad will ever happen to Chicago. Chicago is like the Titanic, in the sense that neither of them will ever catch on fire.
posted by Megadeth at 9:09 AM
1 Comments:
Shut up. Chicago is great. I hate you. If you can't appreciate the wonderful cities of America, leave the country. It's not like we're the only ones with more military power than the rest of the world combined. Oh, wait we are. Everywhere else sucks. Maybe you should appreciate what you've been given, jerk.
Post a Comment
<< Home