pick-up lines for modern times

1. I like your legs. Will you wrap them around me and have sex with me?

2. Q: Did it hurt?
A: Did what hurt?
Q: When you fell from heaven and onto your ripe butt-tocks? I BET IT DIDN'T because they are like mushy bed cushions!

3. Hey baby what's up--THE SKY!!! AW HAW!! gotcha. wanna do it?

4. Q: Did it hurt?
A: Did what hurt?
Q: When you got pregnant from my baby after we do it tonight!

5. If I were black, would you have sex with me? TRICK QUESTION: YOU ALREADY HAD SEX WITH ME.

6. Q: Are you an angel who fell from heaven?
A: What?
Q: Ah, fuck.

7. How much do you want to have sex with me on a scale of nine to ten?

8. Q. Do you have any kleenex?
A. Did what hurt?
Q. Bitch I didn't ask you that!
A. Ah, fuck.
Q. Wanna do it?
A. Yes.
(they do it)
Q. Aaaaaw *splooge* (pause) do you have any kleenex?
A. That hurt.
Q. Well you told me I could do it.
A. Not in my butthole!
Q. A deal's a deal. Do you have any kleenex?
A. I'm an angel from heaven?
Q. Yeah: whatever:
(enter GOD)
GOD: YOU BUTTRAPED MY ANGEL~
Q: Oh SHIT.
A: Assright muffucka
Q: I am so sorry!
GOD: Hey you.
Q: Yes God?
GOD: Ask me if it hurt when I fell from heaven?
Q. Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?
GOD: NAW MUTHAFUCKA, I'M MUTHAFUCKIN GOD! That shit don't hurt.
Q. Oh.
A. Here's a kleenex.
Q. Where did you find it?
A. In your butthole.
Q. I'm confused.
GOD: Hey you.
Q: Yes?
GOD: Is that kleenex in your butthole or are you just happy to see me?
Q: Um...both?
GOD: Well pull it out, cause I'm going to rape you!
(pause)
Q. Wait a minute...
(pause)
Q. Wait a minute...God?
GOD: Yes my son?
Q: You rascal you...
GOD: Oh, I've been found out. *chuckles*
A: You are a master sir.
Q: You mean this whole thing was just your way of asking to have sex with me?
GOD: That's right, BITCH.
(rapes him)
Q: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

the end.