A song I want to sing for the Miss Portland pageant

I’ve been around for many years
And I’ve met me many a guy
And there’s one, simple thing I’ve learned:
The best chromosome is Y

Men are bastions of strength
On this subject, you’ve got to agree
They don’t let petty feelings get in the way
Like pain
Or fear
Or empathy
And we might have financial acumen
But we’re much too busy with vacuumin’
Just go on and
Let the men
Handle it!

All we need’s a life of leisure
And couture that is haute
19th century gals had it great
I mean, who really needs to vote?

Men supply us with income
And houses in which to abide
They slave so we can do the things we love
Like cook
And clean
And cry on the inside
We’re not aware of calculus or a solar eclipse
But at least we can provide our wide birthing hips
Just go on and
Let the men
Handle it!

Government: they can handle it!
Spelling: they can handle it!
Analytical thinking: they can handle it!
Success: they can handle it!

We may not know how to read Shakespeare
We may not know a plus from a minus
But we know that we want real men to
Wine us
Dine us
Unfailingly outshine us
No girl should be the president or chief of staff
Cause when trouble’s brewing, we’ll take ours decaf
Just go on and
Let the men
Handle it!
Just go on and
Let the men
Handle it!!