upon waking

david mamet made a movie in vermont
and that same day I drove a van up the sand
to tell my mom "i cried in feldenkrais."

It was her birthday, and without a present to give
I took a truffle saved from my own birthday
and squashed its parts between my chubby fingers
until new shapes and textures took form, and of course
the white chocolate melted,
and in fact all of it melted so I took it
and spread it all onto a piece of bread with some peanut butter
and raisins and called it a birthday sandwich.

A valuable birthday sandwich with succulent caramel
and so only my mother could eat it not my brother
whose birthday is not till august even though
he was very hungry.

the trick of driving a van up the sand is all in the legs
without legs you tip but also keep an eye out for
the ledge which is one bitch of a ledge
Since I could only circle the hill, when I missed the
ramp ledge I had to circle the hill again to get it
and finally I got up and of course by then the hill
no longer mattered and all I had was sand on my
mother's sandwich.

"have you told your mother that you like dancing?"
asked my therapist and I said, oh no no no, she won't mind
and my mom said "no no no, yes I don't mind"
and my therapist said "Oh, goodness gracious" and blushed
like she was sunburnt and I said, mom I cried in feldenkrais
and she said what's feldenkrais, and I said well it's not exactly
exercise, it uses small movements, and there was barbara
forbes saying "yes yes yes yes yes yes yes all small movements"
and I said, I noticed that I got more pissed on my tummy
than on my back, see: awareness eh?
"through movement" says barbara forbes, and everyone
doted on my awareness saying golly, how aware is this kid, eh?

the sandwich became deformed before anyone could eat it
and by the time I realized I was awake it was 1:30