a short piece of dramatic literature
Gorb: Ouch! I hurt my elbow riding a horse.
Furg: Be more careful, fool! you will always be doing your riding without elbow power pretty soon!
Gorb: I know but I love it so.
Furg: Are we characters from the Opera "Die Barrelschtrüp" by Richard Wagner?
Gorb: Yes.
Furg: Why, we're onstage right at this moment!
Gorb: Oh nope! What'll we do now?
Furg: We'll push forward Gerb. As we do always.
Gorb: Let's do the opera!
Furg: We must!
Gorb and Furg: Let's do it!
SCENE 1
Gorb and Furg are riding a lamb with a barrel full of clambs
Furg: I've been looking for the barrel-strap for so long!
Gorb: Where will be the barrel-strap with which we will strap the barrel?
Furg: Together with you, my faithful Gurt!
Gorb: Oh Fert! You are my only friend.
DIE SUNGAN DIE FRÜNDERSHCRHAP
Gorb: Oh Furg
Oh Furg
Meine Mensche die Frapp!
You sching like an burdie
and burd like a Strap
And you are not awkward at aaaaaall
Furg: Here on our tigerous lamb
You living with me underneath the open skies!
We search for die Barrel-daus Schtrap, with barrel clams!
To schtrap up our Barrel and clam!
And you are never ever awkward!
Furg and Gorb: Furg/Gorb You are meine bestest Fründ!
Our fründerschrap will last for a long time
Under the black night of love, for you, Fert/Gurt
On this meek lamb, alas
our fründerschrap will never be awkward!
(FIN of song)
Gorb: Now the grass becomes green with affection.
Furg: Between us, the grass grows thinner than the wind.
Gorb: Truly, I have never felt less awkward.
Furg: Nor I! My breath swells steady and hands shake not, like the wind.
Gorb: Ah, steady Lamb.
Furg: Oh Ho! You speak of me, but here is a lamb upon which we ride! He he!
Gorb: Do not frown, little lamb. Your Gorb and Furb ride with patience and glitlicht. Whenever you think of me, see this brown clam barrel and be not afraid!
sünd die lamber
Furg: Oh lamber. Your sweet whinny.
Exeunt
SCENE 2
Pancho Villa, alone in his study
Panch: Never have I felt thus feeling.
DIE SÜNGEN DIE PRACHTO VILLA
No muffin in the morning
Not a trace of morning muffin
Wander, mice and bird
Through windswept hallows of love.
Forswear my great hipfore
To the far reaching sun
and wander,
Never becoming awkward
but always, in love and aromatic
in the nicht!
Panch: I wish to be alone.
Alone, one cannot be awkward.
With others, one can be awkward.
Oh why am I such a blünderbust!
Never having a friend, save my faithy schtrap!!
Wieldën die BARRELSCHTRAPP!!
(pleïn die violinsünd)
DIE SÜNGER DIE BARRELSCHTRAPP
(staccätie)
Be-rrell-schtrepp
Be-rrel-schtrepp
Thou art my best fründer-schtrap
Never weary
never sill-y
Never awkward, Be-rrell-schtrepp
Glip glap glop, goes the Be-rrell-schtrepp
Clip Clap Clop goes the Be-rrel-schtreppp
Clip clap clop
Glip glap glop
These are the sounds of a Be-rrell-schtrep
I would be reluctant to let thou go
Panch: (spoken)Forged in the smithy of my pelvis-smithy!
Never will you shctrap a barrel!
Not while I breath the windy bluster!
(FIN sünger)
Exeunt PANCHO unt Barrelschtrüpp
SCENE 3
Enter Gorb and Ferg, nein Lämber
Gorb: Lämber!
Ferg: Lämber!
Gorb: Our sweet lamb has gone
Furg: Now we have no lamb to carry-on ho
Gorb: We are now carrion!
Furg: And you, with your clam-overflowing-barrel!
Gorb WIELDEN DIE FLÜGEN-CLAMBÄRREL!!!
Pleïn Die Violinsünd
Die Sünde die VÜLTUREN!!
Furg: Vulturebirds!
Gorb: Not a clam to spare!
Furg: If only the lamb had not fled. Then we could be find the strapp and be safety!
Gorb: Cease your wishies. We will only brave onward, now. By togetherness and powerfull!
Furg: Gorb-without-lamb, are you never awkward?
Gorb: You are too kind.
Furg: Ah, Gorb.
Enter PANCHO unt Barrelschtrüpp
SCHTINGEN DIE VIOLINSÜND!
Panch:(aside) Oh nope! People!
Gorb: (sing-songy)
Ahoy there, hill-friend!
DIE HILLENSÜNG
Furg: Ahoy! Oh Ho!
Gorb: Oh Heil, Lo Ho!
Gorb: Wilcommün, eh? What a nice Hill, eh?
Furg: Have you seen a lamb, eh?
Gorb: A lamb?
Furg: Would you like a clam?
Gorb: A CLAM!
Furg and Gorb: Clembärrel
Clembärrel
Clembärrel
Hey hoy!
(WIELDEN DIE CLËMBURREL!)
(STINGEN DIE VIOLINSÜNG)
Panch: (aside) Oh nein! A Bärrel! Hiden de Barrelschtrüpp!
Gorb: HEY...is that a barrel strapp?
Panch: Um.
Furg: A BARREL-STRAP!
Panch: Maybe...
Gorb: Can I have it for my barrel?
Furg: Yes we have searched far and wide. Just look at the clams, there in the barrel sitting: strapless, yet strapped by love.
Panch: Um...
Gorb and Furg: (singen) Please give us your schtrap!
Panch: Um...
(LONG PAUSE...)
DIE AWKWARD-SONG
Panch: I don't know, i really like the strap.
Gorb and Furg: Please! Give us the strap! (aside) Oh god this is awkward
Panch: I don't know, he is my only friend, (aside) Gad this is so awkward!
Gorb and Furg: Please, oh please! the clammen clammen CLAM!
Panch: But I don't want to be awkward
Gorb and Furg: This is so awkward
Panch: This is so awkward! I will not give you the schtrap
Gorb and Furg: Oh Gad that is so awkward!
Panch: No I will keep it for mein-self!
Gorb and Forg: Oh Gad that is so awkward!
Panch: I don't like you
Gorb and Forg: Awkward
Panch: No, I hate you
Gorb and Forg: Awkward
Panch: Pancho Villa!
Gorb and Forg: Awkward, Awkward Pancho.
Panch: (aside) NEEEIN,
I told myself I'd move unto the tippy of this hill
so I would never see a person
not a single little person
unt forever unt forever I would never ever ever
ever ever ever ever beeee AWKWARD
(violins sweetly)
but now here I am
and they want my only friend, strapp
but that is so awkward
(violins violent)
HOW AWKWARD IS THAT, OH GAD!
Gorb: (to Furb) I don't think he's going to give it to us
Furb: (to Gorb) God that is so awkward!
Gorb: What gives him the right to be so mean and rude?
Furb: Not me! I didn't give it to him
Gorb and Furb: Die Schrapp die Schtrapp! It is the barrel-schrapp of yore
and holds the answer to all our problems and he won't give it to us.
GAAAD, that is so majorly awkward!
but what about the CLAMS, oh gad!
Panch: (defiantly) You will not have my schtraaap.
You will not have my schtraaaaap
You will not have my schtraaaaaap!!
No matter how awkward it is!
(Pancho Villa laffën)
(Pancho Villa neine laffën)
(Unt Awkvard Pausen)
(DIE LÄMBER RÜNNEN!)
(VIOLINSCHTING!)
(DIE LÄMBER GRUBBEN DIE BARRELSCHTRAPP UNT GEIBEN to GORB AND FURG)
Gorb and Furb: Oh lambür!
Panch: Dam you, lambür
Gorb and Furb: Sweet, Sweet, Lambür you have not only returned yourself but the barrelschtrapp as well!
Panch: Damn you lambür!
(weeps)
Gorb and Furg: A las, die clammen are safe!
(putten die schtrappen un die barrel)
(VIOLINSCHTING!)
Gorb and Furg: La lala Laaaa!
(Fin song)
FIN
Gorb: Hey, good job on that Opera!
Furg: Thanks Gorb. Hey pancho, You too!
Pancho: Oh thanks!
(fin)
Furg: Be more careful, fool! you will always be doing your riding without elbow power pretty soon!
Gorb: I know but I love it so.
Furg: Are we characters from the Opera "Die Barrelschtrüp" by Richard Wagner?
Gorb: Yes.
Furg: Why, we're onstage right at this moment!
Gorb: Oh nope! What'll we do now?
Furg: We'll push forward Gerb. As we do always.
Gorb: Let's do the opera!
Furg: We must!
Gorb and Furg: Let's do it!
SCENE 1
Gorb and Furg are riding a lamb with a barrel full of clambs
Furg: I've been looking for the barrel-strap for so long!
Gorb: Where will be the barrel-strap with which we will strap the barrel?
Furg: Together with you, my faithful Gurt!
Gorb: Oh Fert! You are my only friend.
DIE SUNGAN DIE FRÜNDERSHCRHAP
Gorb: Oh Furg
Oh Furg
Meine Mensche die Frapp!
You sching like an burdie
and burd like a Strap
And you are not awkward at aaaaaall
Furg: Here on our tigerous lamb
You living with me underneath the open skies!
We search for die Barrel-daus Schtrap, with barrel clams!
To schtrap up our Barrel and clam!
And you are never ever awkward!
Furg and Gorb: Furg/Gorb You are meine bestest Fründ!
Our fründerschrap will last for a long time
Under the black night of love, for you, Fert/Gurt
On this meek lamb, alas
our fründerschrap will never be awkward!
(FIN of song)
Gorb: Now the grass becomes green with affection.
Furg: Between us, the grass grows thinner than the wind.
Gorb: Truly, I have never felt less awkward.
Furg: Nor I! My breath swells steady and hands shake not, like the wind.
Gorb: Ah, steady Lamb.
Furg: Oh Ho! You speak of me, but here is a lamb upon which we ride! He he!
Gorb: Do not frown, little lamb. Your Gorb and Furb ride with patience and glitlicht. Whenever you think of me, see this brown clam barrel and be not afraid!
sünd die lamber
Furg: Oh lamber. Your sweet whinny.
Exeunt
SCENE 2
Pancho Villa, alone in his study
Panch: Never have I felt thus feeling.
DIE SÜNGEN DIE PRACHTO VILLA
No muffin in the morning
Not a trace of morning muffin
Wander, mice and bird
Through windswept hallows of love.
Forswear my great hipfore
To the far reaching sun
and wander,
Never becoming awkward
but always, in love and aromatic
in the nicht!
Panch: I wish to be alone.
Alone, one cannot be awkward.
With others, one can be awkward.
Oh why am I such a blünderbust!
Never having a friend, save my faithy schtrap!!
Wieldën die BARRELSCHTRAPP!!
(pleïn die violinsünd)
DIE SÜNGER DIE BARRELSCHTRAPP
(staccätie)
Be-rrell-schtrepp
Be-rrel-schtrepp
Thou art my best fründer-schtrap
Never weary
never sill-y
Never awkward, Be-rrell-schtrepp
Glip glap glop, goes the Be-rrell-schtrepp
Clip Clap Clop goes the Be-rrel-schtreppp
Clip clap clop
Glip glap glop
These are the sounds of a Be-rrell-schtrep
I would be reluctant to let thou go
Panch: (spoken)Forged in the smithy of my pelvis-smithy!
Never will you shctrap a barrel!
Not while I breath the windy bluster!
(FIN sünger)
Exeunt PANCHO unt Barrelschtrüpp
SCENE 3
Enter Gorb and Ferg, nein Lämber
Gorb: Lämber!
Ferg: Lämber!
Gorb: Our sweet lamb has gone
Furg: Now we have no lamb to carry-on ho
Gorb: We are now carrion!
Furg: And you, with your clam-overflowing-barrel!
Gorb WIELDEN DIE FLÜGEN-CLAMBÄRREL!!!
Pleïn Die Violinsünd
Die Sünde die VÜLTUREN!!
Furg: Vulturebirds!
Gorb: Not a clam to spare!
Furg: If only the lamb had not fled. Then we could be find the strapp and be safety!
Gorb: Cease your wishies. We will only brave onward, now. By togetherness and powerfull!
Furg: Gorb-without-lamb, are you never awkward?
Gorb: You are too kind.
Furg: Ah, Gorb.
Enter PANCHO unt Barrelschtrüpp
SCHTINGEN DIE VIOLINSÜND!
Panch:(aside) Oh nope! People!
Gorb: (sing-songy)
Ahoy there, hill-friend!
DIE HILLENSÜNG
Furg: Ahoy! Oh Ho!
Gorb: Oh Heil, Lo Ho!
Gorb: Wilcommün, eh? What a nice Hill, eh?
Furg: Have you seen a lamb, eh?
Gorb: A lamb?
Furg: Would you like a clam?
Gorb: A CLAM!
Furg and Gorb: Clembärrel
Clembärrel
Clembärrel
Hey hoy!
(WIELDEN DIE CLËMBURREL!)
(STINGEN DIE VIOLINSÜNG)
Panch: (aside) Oh nein! A Bärrel! Hiden de Barrelschtrüpp!
Gorb: HEY...is that a barrel strapp?
Panch: Um.
Furg: A BARREL-STRAP!
Panch: Maybe...
Gorb: Can I have it for my barrel?
Furg: Yes we have searched far and wide. Just look at the clams, there in the barrel sitting: strapless, yet strapped by love.
Panch: Um...
Gorb and Furg: (singen) Please give us your schtrap!
Panch: Um...
(LONG PAUSE...)
DIE AWKWARD-SONG
Panch: I don't know, i really like the strap.
Gorb and Furg: Please! Give us the strap! (aside) Oh god this is awkward
Panch: I don't know, he is my only friend, (aside) Gad this is so awkward!
Gorb and Furg: Please, oh please! the clammen clammen CLAM!
Panch: But I don't want to be awkward
Gorb and Furg: This is so awkward
Panch: This is so awkward! I will not give you the schtrap
Gorb and Furg: Oh Gad that is so awkward!
Panch: No I will keep it for mein-self!
Gorb and Forg: Oh Gad that is so awkward!
Panch: I don't like you
Gorb and Forg: Awkward
Panch: No, I hate you
Gorb and Forg: Awkward
Panch: Pancho Villa!
Gorb and Forg: Awkward, Awkward Pancho.
Panch: (aside) NEEEIN,
I told myself I'd move unto the tippy of this hill
so I would never see a person
not a single little person
unt forever unt forever I would never ever ever
ever ever ever ever beeee AWKWARD
(violins sweetly)
but now here I am
and they want my only friend, strapp
but that is so awkward
(violins violent)
HOW AWKWARD IS THAT, OH GAD!
Gorb: (to Furb) I don't think he's going to give it to us
Furb: (to Gorb) God that is so awkward!
Gorb: What gives him the right to be so mean and rude?
Furb: Not me! I didn't give it to him
Gorb and Furb: Die Schrapp die Schtrapp! It is the barrel-schrapp of yore
and holds the answer to all our problems and he won't give it to us.
GAAAD, that is so majorly awkward!
but what about the CLAMS, oh gad!
Panch: (defiantly) You will not have my schtraaap.
You will not have my schtraaaaap
You will not have my schtraaaaaap!!
No matter how awkward it is!
(Pancho Villa laffën)
(Pancho Villa neine laffën)
(Unt Awkvard Pausen)
(DIE LÄMBER RÜNNEN!)
(VIOLINSCHTING!)
(DIE LÄMBER GRUBBEN DIE BARRELSCHTRAPP UNT GEIBEN to GORB AND FURG)
Gorb and Furb: Oh lambür!
Panch: Dam you, lambür
Gorb and Furb: Sweet, Sweet, Lambür you have not only returned yourself but the barrelschtrapp as well!
Panch: Damn you lambür!
(weeps)
Gorb and Furg: A las, die clammen are safe!
(putten die schtrappen un die barrel)
(VIOLINSCHTING!)
Gorb and Furg: La lala Laaaa!
(Fin song)
FIN
Gorb: Hey, good job on that Opera!
Furg: Thanks Gorb. Hey pancho, You too!
Pancho: Oh thanks!
(fin)
posted by theo at 1:41 PM
2 Comments:
HOLY CRAP
GREAT OPERA, LOVE THE
OMLAUTS!!!!!!!!!!
see you can speak german
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