calculus

there are three important things to remember as a calculus student.

1. x = 3 + x

2. the trains are leaving the station.

3. robots are made of math.

all you must do is remember these three things.

Try it! You will find it is very easy.

For many years I struggled with math, and especially calculus, and I simply could not figure out the answers. Until one day, I was approached by an thin man with giant spectacles. He said his name was Eckhart Grint and that he was a professional pilot. He asked me if he knew where he could take a whiz. I said, I sure ain't no whiz at calculus!

He said, Calculus?

He said, I know of Calculus. I learned it in the field.

I said, the field of what?

He said, the field of professional pilotry. Shut up, for I shall teach you now, child.

In his plane we journeyed to the edges of the world, with good old grint shouting instructions over his left shoulder. I would pace the cabin of his plane, practicing my equations, eating peanuts, and in a state of wonder and reverence at the man and his art.

This is calculus. This is calculus.

Then one day Grint vanished. He left a note on my nightstand, scrawled in his peculiar scrawl. It said

I am very afraid. I must flee. Where is my shoe?<

And underneath that were the three rules of calculus.

I quickly swallowed the paper, to hide the secret.

But the time has come.

The time has come for the world to know.